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Callie Maggotbone: Infopost, Class Stuff, Pixie Dust (now Demon Marcus), and Shiny Objects

Callie Maggotbone is from the wonderful amazing Comedy Central animated series, Ugly Americans. Take New York City, and add every single bizarre species that you've ever heard of or imagined. Now take a few that you haven't. Now take some more. No, seriously, these people all live in and inhabit New York:


Just for the record: these aren't freaks and weirdos in New York. These people are all basic, normal New Yorkers. When Land Whales clog the freeway, taxi drivers bitch about the traffic. Hand Head there runs a door-replacement shop. The leprechauns had a gang war with the vampires way back in the day (a la Gangs of New York). The Rabbicorn works as a janitor in the DOI (more on that later), and Doug (the Koalaman) briefly worked with Al Queda. The Giant Baby is a lawyer. They're all just people.

In other words, Callie will actually find Fandom to be not just normal, but boring. Chew on that.

The show centers around the Department of Integration, which works to help some of the more outlandish elements to fully integrate into society -- newly-turned werewolves, or unidentifiable blobs, or the guy with a branch for a head. The social services side of the DOI helps people get their citizenship and jobs and fit into normal society, and the law enforcement side ... features an ex-cop with issues who likes to lock them up before the social services side can get anywhere near them. So there's that.

Most of the show takes place in New York City, but we also take frequent trips into Hell. because Hell is now divided into two parts: Old Hell -- you know, lake of fire, brimstone, lava -- and New Hell, which is a strip mall full of TSI Friday's, Blood, Bath and Beyond, and so forth.


Mortals can go shopping there without risking their souls -- in fact, it's going to be a field trip for Callie's class. But I'm getting ahead of myself.


Callie Maggotbone is the daughter of Aldermach Maggotbone, currently the CEO and ruler of hell, by which I mean, the devil. The title passes every 35 years. Satan Himself exists, but is unseen; my guess is that he retired.

So, yes, she's the spawn of the devil, and a demon. Even better, she's a succubus! And she's part of a prophecy that will bring about the End of Days, which the demons are working towards. She's kind of ambivalent about the plan, to be honest. Not because she cares about humanity all that much, but because her part in the prophecy involves sleeping with Twayne, her current boss and the biggest loser in Demonkind. So instead she's been shtupping Mark, the big-hearted social worker that the show centers on, and they have an off-and-on relationship that actually gets seriously adorable if you're into that kind of thing, and, well, I'm a sucker for it.

Violence turns her on, she collects weapons, she requires frequent sex (succubus thing), but unlike Bo, it doesn't kill or drain her partners. She can remove souls during certain sex acts, but it's a conscious choice.

She refers to herself as a demon, but she's actually only half; that's why she's so pale. (Most demons are much darker colors; Callie is candy-pink.) Callie's backstory is a rip off of Rosemary's baby. It's later retconned into a consensual relationship, so they can have Rosie and Aldermach get back together. So she has a human side, and she even has a soul. A little one. She has to remove it to access her huge-assed demon form. So she's nicer than she thinks she is, and she's apathetic about the end of the world, but ... you know. Demon. She might not be cheering on the right side of some of the BDEs.

If you know my canon -- and I don't know that anyone here does -- I'm tweaking the end of episode seven and having her and Mark take a break from each other after the Demon Conference. Aldermach reassigns her from the DOI and sends her here to see if there are interesting creatures she can use to help with that whole End of Days nonsense. And because having her work with Twayne seems to only make her less inclined to bang him.


Class is going to feature slideshows of lots of the variant species and ways to deal with them. Like how the treetures have sex in Central Park and this keeps the city from exploding. What Zombie Lincoln has been up to since his assassination. (He's dating Jessica Alba, for one.) Why you should never, ever feed the Manbirds. We'll go on a field trip to shop in New Hell, and even get Special Guest Leonard to come in and talk to the class about being a wizard, even though he's actually a drunken, worthless failure.

... no, he is. He'll admit that. MAGIC!

So, basically, an excuse for her to be snarky and me to mine my canon for crack. And maybe she'll bring in some weirdos for show-and-tell, or try to convince you that demons are seriously just misunderstood.


Pixie Dust will now be called Demon Marcus, which is the name of the clothing store in New Hell, so consider this a branch location. Like Neiman Marcus, it's going to have trendy and high-cost fashion, and also fabulous shoes and accessories, but unlike Neiman Marcus, it's also going to run all the way down to the cheap scale.

More importantly, you saw that species list above. There are going to be clothes for all kinds of body types. You need a suit with wing-holes in the back, or something stretchy enough for when you transform into a ten-foot-high demon? She has that. Need something for a double-torso, or with a hole for a mating bone in the sternum? Sure thing.


My canon is wunderbar. Want some? Season 1 is on Netflix, though that seems to be US-locked. Season 2 is supposedly on Hulu; that might be the fancy Hulu Plus. Lots and lots of clips are on Comedy Central, although those are also US-locked. I found a few interesting tidbits that aren't.


Callie's presentation, done by Twayne:

Leonard has respawned into 500 tiny Leonards, 499 of which need to die so that he can be whole again:

Treegasm: the mating festival for treetures:

The full episode of ManBirds (s1 finale)


Mark (currently suffering from a bat-boy bite) seduces Callie (not that much seduction is required okay)

Grimes bribes Callie, Leonard and Twayne into helping him trick his mummy (pun intended)

Mark wields the power of influence

Making of Apocalypsegeddon: It's an commercial, yes, but it features the characters talking IC about making the game, which gets hilarious


TL:DR; (half-)demon succubus with a shriveled black heart (with occasional flecks of that kind of gold that turns your fingers green) will be teaching a class about the bizarre weirdos and freaks that roam New York City, how to avoid them, survive them, or profit from them, and being her droll and diva self. And there will be a shopping trip to New Hell. She's also taking over the clothing store and making it more creature-friendly while keeping the designer labels and Jimmy Choos. PS, her canon rules.

Callie will need a TA, especially as I'm going to be away for a week's vacation in June (HAWAII, BITCHES!) and I'm going to save my others for another post because this is fucking huge.

Any questions?


2012-04-30 10:29 pm (UTC) (Link)

I so want to toss Butters in the mix for a potential TA. He's been to Tolerance Camp, so he totes has credentials for diversity.

And I'm a nerd and just feel like these two need to be together. UM, IT'S IN THEIR PROGRAMMING LINE-UP.


2012-05-02 02:11 am (UTC) (Link)

Come for the South Park, stay for the Ugly!

Consider him tossed, nay, hurled! Seifer's got the lock on one slot what with being a Recent Grad. And whether or not he gets the other, Calile will so be taking an interest in Butters. He's got such a big, squishy innocent soul! She loves corrupting people like that.


2012-05-03 11:42 am (UTC) (Link)

Cool. Just let me know!


2012-05-01 12:34 am (UTC) (Link)

Oh what the hell. Seifer for TA as well.

It could be the Seifer and Butters week while you're gone?


2012-05-02 02:12 am (UTC) (Link)

That would be hilarious. Seifer's got a slot, so he can stay on-island and come shopping with us to Blood Bath and Beyond. And Doomington's.


2012-05-01 05:38 pm (UTC) (Link)

Delicious, delicious Sin-a-bon.


2012-05-02 02:13 am (UTC) (Link)

Almost as good as the pretzels at Auntie Christ's!